For those of you who are the unromantic type in relationships looking for a Valentine’s Day gift will love these Valentines for unromantic people. Many people will be buying boxes of chocolates or roses, but if you’re looking to give your Valentines a funny but risky gift – why not try these!
On average, men shell out $130 each on candy, cards, jewelry, flowers and dates. That’s more than double what women commit to spending. Worldwide, over 50 million roses are given for Valentine’s Day each year.
If you’re the couple that loves to have a laugh and don’t take things too literally, these 31 Hilarious Valentines For Unromantic People will be a perfect gift!
1. For the Valentine who makes you want to vomit less than most other people do.
Buy here.
2. For the Valentine you want to play paleontologist with.
Buy here.
3. For the Valentine you’re stuck with.
Ehh.
Buy here.
4. For the Valentine you love in spite of all their many flaws.
Buy here.
5. For the Valentine who also happens to be your loofah.
You’ll never need to shell out the money for a Clarisonic.
Buy here.
6. For the Valentine who’s currently wearing too many articles of clothing.
Buy here.
The ultimate expression of love.
Buy here.
8. For when you want to cut to the chase as far as this whole Valentine card thing goes.
Buy here.
9. For a Valentine who appreciates fine poetry.
Buy here.
10. For a Valentine who deserves a dozen roses.
They’re called “Nylunds†and they can only be grown in St. Olaf.
Buy here.
11. For when your Valentine needs a meal plan.
Buy here.
12. For the Valentine you’d never use a Patronus Charm against.
Buy here.
13. For the Valentine you adore (“Darth breathing†and all).
Buy here.
14. For a Valentine who makes you all moony.
Buy here.
15. For the Valentine who makes you sing Baby Bash.
They have you “lifted shifted higher than a ceiling.â€
Buy here.
16. For your rock.
You’d love him even if he always wore a turtleneck and fanny pack.
Buy here.
17. For the Valentine who loves you at your best and at your worst.
Buy here.
18. For the Valentine who could actually make a stove pipe hat look hot.
Is Daniel Day-Lewis your Valentine?
Buy here.
19. For when your love can only be measured using the Kardashian system.
The metric system just doesn’t cut it.
Buy here.
20. For a Valentine with an exceptional _______.
You fill in the blank.
Buy here.
21. For a Valentine who makes you carnivorous.
Buy here.
22. For the Cheryl to your Larry.
Buy here.
23. For the Valentine you’d get out the razor for.
Buy here.
24. For the Valentine whose booty you crave.
Buy here.
25. For a Valentine who doesn’t expect eloquence.
Buy here.
26. For a Valentine who could be displayed at a butcher shop.
Buy here.
27. For a Valentine in need of some instruction.
Buy here.
28. For a Valentine who would never judge.
Buy here.
29. For the Valentine who can make you speak Parseltongue.
Buy here.
30. For the Valentine you’d know even if they had their face surgically removed.
Face off or on, it’s love.
Buy here.
31. For the Valentine you can’t escape from.
… not that you’d try.
Buy here
via BuzzFeed
